Chocolate Cake and The Kray Twins

Today, i have been to the gym. Not because I'm a mental middle aged woman desperately trying to not look like a middle aged woman. No, i went to the gym because my mother is a mental middle aged woman desperately trying to not look like a middle aged woman and she's also a little shy. So i said that if it would make her feel better, i would go to the gym with her and make sure none of the bigger mental people pick on her. I did this because i am a wonderful daughter, also so that next time she starts shouting at me for being rude/untidy/forgetful/an awful human being, i can bring up the fact that I've sacrificed much of my precious sitting-in-my-room-being-a-moody-teenager time to go to the gym with her so that she can be a size 10 by Christmas (i have asked Christmas in which year but got a dirty look and no answer).

To prove that I'm definitely not a mental health obsessed person (also to annoy my mother just a little bit), i came home and ate a slice of the most wonderful chocolate cake ever invented. yummy. I enjoyed it even more as my mother sat next to me, glaring at me in a way that clearly said "i hate you". Just as she stood up to go to the kitchen and get herself a slice of cake, my calendar's daily wisdom came in useful once again, i said:

"Winners never quit. Quitters never win."

I'm not really sure what that means but it seemed like a good thing to say. I thought it was a nice, encouraging thing to say, but the response from my mother was "You sound like a fucking life coach." followed by much stomping about and cake-eating.

(I don't think she even appreciated the excellence of the chocolate and Guinness cake as much as she should have - if you don't believe me, ask Kathy. (ohhh! i can do those link things! excting!)

The gym was rather boring. But I showed my wounded arm to a random man who was doing some rowing (not actual rowing with water and stuff - he was using a rowing machine) and kept making weird noises. he looked at it, then said "ooh! that looks nasty." that pleased me, that's the most sympathy i've got since i fell over.

"Today in 1982 - The notorious Kray Twins were allowed out of prison for their mother's funeral."
i watched a documentary about the Kray twins once, i don't remember much about it except they killed a man called Jack The Hat, which is an amazing name - how do you get a nickname like that?!