Happy Birthday Princess Anne

So, Princess Anne is 60. Well done her.

I have a Grandad, my Dad's Dad, well, my Dad's step-dad. He's very nice just very very boring. Mostly he talks about himself or the rotary club: what he did whilst he was a District Governor, what he has to do as a PGD, what good work the rotary club do, rotary club raffles he has won (which he ALWAYS seems to be doing, either they have a ridiculous amount of raffles or he's rigging them), rotary club dinners, rotary club meetings, trips to America/Australia/Germany with the rotary club and his absolute favourite topic of conversation - important and influential people he has met via the rotary club. He's met Princess Anne 3 or 4 times "she's a wonderful woman".

Somebody, who will remain anonymous in this blog, once told me that the only way i'd get somewhere in life would be if i married someone very rich. I didn't take this to heart, they're a twat. Anyway, a while ago, i was discussing this with my parents and a friend. I decided i would quite like to marry into the royal family, i mean, they're pretty rich and i'd get to go round opening buildings and being horribly rude and badly behaved and not get in trouble for it.

Who could i marry? The obvious choices would be Prince William or Prince Harry but i have no connection to them whatsoever. it's then that i remembered Grandad's *hilarious* anecdotes involving Princess Anne - perfect!

So i suggest Princess Anne, i also explained my plan to get Grandad to introduce me to her - next time he was due to be at a function she will be at, i'll ask him if i could come because i really fancy her.

Everyone laughed, his reaction would be priceless, Barry might have done an impression of what sort of face he would pull. Everyone laughed a bit more.

Then my mother turned to me and said, with genuine fear in her eye's: "Don't".

"Why not?"

"Because he'll write us out of his will"

******

He often comes round for Sunday lunch, i play an awesome little game where i subtly (and often not-so-subtly) bring the conversation round to Princess Anne. Sometimes saying something like "You know, i think Princess Anne is really..." *pause to take a long sip of my drink and watch my parents go very white* "...a very inspirational woman". He's so self-absorbed, i don't think he's noticed my odd obsession yet.

It is honestly my favourite boredom-beating game, except for the one at Christmas dinner where you have to slip the words "tramp's knob" into conversation without anyone noticing. Honestly, there is nothing funnier than watching my parents squirm nervously in their seats whilst i ramble on about the amazing charitable work of the Princess Royal. And i wonder why they seem so stressed all the time...?