Competitions and Small Acts of Revenge

Last Friday, at lunch time, was the Easter fair at my school. The Easter fair, much like the Christmas fair, and the summer fair is essentially, people selling stuff i the sports hall and an opportunity for everyone to eat as many sweets as they can and be as hyper and uncontrollable as possible for the last lesson.

Unfortunately, i forgot to take any money to school, so had to spend my lunch time following my friends about, watching them buying stuff and staring miserably at the 32p i had found in my pencil case.

Then, i saw that the Eco House captains were running a competition - you had to write an idea that would make more people in the school more interested in the "Sustainable Schools" stuff, then stick it to a girl who was walking round dressed as a tree.

I had an idea, it was this - Prizes for whichever form had the most paper in their recycling box. There are so many reasons why this idea wouldn't work, but i decided to write it anyway. Well, as soon as i'd announced to my friends that i was going to, i wished i hadn't. For some reason, and i have *no idea* why, coming up with environmentally friendly ideas isn't all that cool. So, as i was writing my idea down on a recycled piece of paper that had been cut into rubbish leaf shape, my friends decided to take the piss out of my in a MAJOR way. It involved a lot of horrible name calling which i won't repeat now as they'd take too much explaining.

When i came to writing my name and form, i decided to get my small act of revenge, instead of writing my name, i wrote "Emma Lamond" the name of one of my best friends, also the one enjoying teasing me the most. I felt very pleased with myself, it was a rubbish idea, there were loads better already stuck on the tree, there was no way i'd ever win but i felt pleased with myself - Emma would probably die if someone thought she had entered that competition. (yes, she is quite shallow, but i still love her).

Ok, you're not stupid so you will have guessed by now that i won. Only, i didn't win, did i? Emma did. Her face when her name was called out was the best thing i have seen in so long! At first she looked really really confused, then, you could see something go *click* inside her head and then she just looked embarrassed. Really really embarrassed.

AHahahahahahahahahah. hahahaha. haha. ahahaha < that was my hysterical laughter. Nobody knew what i was laughing about but i couldn't stop myself. I'm still laughing now, thinking about it. HA!

She told the Eco House Captains that it was my entry, not hers. They were confused, but they gave me first prize instead - a fairtrade easter egg. WOO! Of course, i offered it to Emma, but she didn't want it, in her words "You're the Enviro-Warrior nerd, you deserve it."

I'm so lucky that she has a good sense of humour. And they'll all probably think twice before making fun of me for being a geek in the future.

School. And Emergency Services.

Well, this week school has been DRAMATIC... maybe not dramatic enough to be made into a film, but definitely dramatic enough for a couple of episodes of Casualty.

So, the first interesting thing that happened was on Monday morning. I got into school to learn that a girl in my year has been expelled. Apparently she hit one of the PE teachers after being told to put her phone away then getting into a shouty, sweary argument. I am not all that surprised by this (she's not exactly my favourite person in the world), in fact, i will probably be quite pleased once she's gone, being around her makes me nervous.

After Monday comes Tuesday. Tuesday, after school there was an under 16s hockey match, i was supposed to be playing but i made up something about having to babysit and went shopping instead. Now i wish i hadn't. A girl in the year above me (again, not one of my favourite people) managed to hospitalise a girl from the other team. It involved a clip hit, straight into the other player's face. If you don't play hockey, a clip hit is like this -



It completely knocked out the girl, as well as knocking out 4 of her teeth and breaking her nose. She left in an ambulance... most other players managed to get covered in her blood. Actually, maybe it was best that i wasn't there.

Ok, so yesterday's dramaticness will take a bit of explaining. You see, at my school there's this stupid rule - you aren't allowed to carry your school bag around with you. And our uniform doesn't really have any pockets. This means that people have to leave their valuable stuff in their lockers or in their school bags, in their form room. That's all very well, until someone starts stealing things. It started about 3 months ago, students were having money stolen but recently it's not only been students - teachers too and not only money - vouchers, phones and iPods as well. I've had £15 stolen - all my lunch money over a few weeks. £140 has been stolen from my form room alone and around £700 plus other things from around the school.
Some clever year 11s worked out that it probably wouldn't have been a student - it would be too hard for them to keep all this stolen stuff a secret from everyone else, there wasn't a single class that didn't have anything stolen and it couldn't have been a teacher, they'd be easy to spot on the CCTV (which is only in the corridors). Therefore, it was probably one of the cleaners. They told their suspicions to one of the teachers but the teachers decided it wasn't possible - they were still convinced it was a student. SO, one afternoon this week, Tuesday i think, they left a purse with money in on one of the desks whilst the class went to assembly, all of them except for one, who hid in the cupboard with her camera phone. She filmed the cleaner taking the money from the purse AND going through other people's bag looking for money. Then, on Wednesday lunchtime the police came and the cleaner was arrested. It was very exciting, everyone went down to watch and the teachers didn't even bother to shoo them away. Again, i missed this, i was... guess what? playing hockey. But i did get back in time to see everyone leaving and hear EVERYONE'S version of the story, some people insisting she stole £2000! (i said £700 because that's what the teachers told us).

The next (and last) DRAMATIC thing that happened was thismorning, as i was walking into school. All of a sudden, about 10 weeping, screaming year 8s barged past me, towards school. They were followed by my friend Nancy who grabbed me then shouted in my face "OHMYGOD!! JADE JUST GOT HIT BY A CAR". Ach. I have seen two car accidents in my life, both were horrible. The first involved a car and a motorbike and gave me awful nightmares for months. The second caused me to faint, whilst i was on a bus. I'm really not good with that sort of thing, so although Nancy tried to drag me back to see what had happened, i went into school and sat, waiting to hear what had happened. I didn't hear anything, until a few hours ago when i got a text saying that she's ok. I am relieved. I don't even like her that much, but i was worried about her.

Oh, and this isn't at all DRAMATIC but i feel the need to tell you - remember that Latin test i had a few weeks ago? no? i complained about it enough! Well i got it back today - i got 90% which i am VERY VERY happy with!

A Short Conversation With My Father

Me (pointing to the front of this week's Radio Times): "Is that a sheep?"

Barry: "No. It's a lamb."

Me: "it doesn't look like a sheep"

Barry: "that's because it's a lamb"

Me (pointing again): "is that a woman?"

Barry: "No. It's Kate Humble."

Me: "It looks like a sheep."

Barry: "Yes. Yes it does... i can see how this is confusing stuff for someone like you."

Quite often, usually after I've done something like turned the grill on then put food in the oven and come back in an hour not understanding what happened, or walked directly into a lamppost, Barry will look at me for a long time, sigh, then say "If YOU are in the top 5% of the country, then i have serious concerns about the future of the UK"