A Letter To Someone.

You know who you are. I'm not going to get into an argument with you over this internet like this, it's stupid and childish. But you started it.

I'm fed up, I don't know what you want from me, i don't have enough time for you? well that's new... Have you EVER come to speak to me? In fact, have you put any effort into this friendship at all?

It doesn't take a genius to work out that things have been awkward recently. But i'm bored of avoiding talking about it altogether, and it appears that you are too, although you don't have the guts to tell me to my face.

So, I have new friends now? You do too. Are you JEALOUS? of me? because i'm happy? i spend time with people i enjoy being with and who enjoy being with me. I'm not going to listen to you anymore, every friendship i've had in the past you've managed to ruin for me, claiming they were "bullying you" or that "a friend" told you they were horrible. We both knew they were lied but i guess i didn't have the confidence to stand up to you then.

Why can't you accept that i'm happy? Is it because you're NEVER happy? i worry about you, i honestly do, is there something wrong with everything you do/own? You're really lucky, i wish you'd realise that, i wish you'd realise that your life is actually quite nice.

You may have changed, but i doubt it, i've known you for long enough to realise that although you can put on a front for people, you're probably bitching about them behind their back. I've listened to you express your real feelings about people for years. Or are they your real feelings? I don't know, i can't work it out...

There's a lot of things i can't work out. Why did i apologise to you so many times? Why was i so scared of you? Why have i spent a significant amount of my life worrying about what you will say?

Do you know that there are some things, things from years ago that i actually can't bear to think about because they still upset me? Did you even realise they'd upset me at the time?

I want to be friends with you, i really do, you make me laugh and i like spending time with you but i'm not going to apologise for a thousand things i haven't done. I don't need to any more, you no longer have the power to make my life hell.

Talk to me in person... or don't talk to me at all.

x