Green

Walking into an empty room, thinking of not very much at all, I suddenly announce: "I don't even like Paul Weller" So surprised by this outburst, I automatically touch my own face, to ensure that it is me speaking and not somebody else whose body I accidentally came to inhabit. It was me. I don't particularly like Paul Weller but it was truly the strangest thing to ever tumble from my mouth, and believe me, I talk some utter nonsense at times.

My friend Hayley thinks I'm weird, she doesn't say that, she says I'm "funny" or "different", but that's just because she's polite. I think she's weird too, she has an obsession with Xena: Warrior Princess, which I don't understand, but together we can do a really great impression of the Dr Who theme tune. She looks like the girl in the Lynx advert - the one where it's all rewinded and two people meet in the supermarket, then run home, discarding their clothes as they do so. I tell her this, but she refuses to believe me. She's also REALLY smart, she does everything at the speed of light then sits and draws pictures of Xena: Warrior Princess characters in her notebook, although her handwriting does look like a person sat on it, then shuffled round a bit (all slanty and squished and uneven).

A person sat on me today, they didn't shuffle around at all, they apologised, then stood up.

I have a thought for the day for you, here it is: If you participate in something no one else can be bothered with, you will win.