happy porret and the scary lady with popcorn in her hair (and probably swine flu)

hello. i went to see Harry Potter last night (or as i keep putting: Happy Porret). i shan't review every bit of it, because that would be boring and i'd probably get it all wrong, so i will say this:

i liked it, i did all the right things (jumped at the loud bits, hid at the scary bits, laughed at the funny bits and cried at the end).

my dad asked when it was going to finish every 10 minutes and kept asking who people were/what they were doing/ why harry didn't just 'zapp' them.

my mum said it would have been better if johnny depp was in it.

jordan fell asleep.

i would have enjoyed it more if it weren't for the fact i was slowly freezing to death in my seat and if i weren't quite so angry. here is why:

my mother went into the cinema to get some seats whilst my dad parked the car and jordan and i bought sweets and popcorn. my mother has an extraordinary talent for choosing the worst seats in the whole place, the ones she chose were directly under the air conditioning, the floor was awfully sticky but most importantly, there was about 3 cm between our chairs and the row in front. that was ok for my mother and jordan because they're shorties (honestly, they are), it wasn't too bad for my father as he sat with his legs stretched out into the isle-bit, but it caused a bit of a problem for me. i have quite long legs (unproportionally long) you see, by rights i should be a short person but my long legs make me a normal height (i also think they're what causes me to fall over as often as i do). anyhoo, i had nothing to do with them, so i squished them against the seat in front and tried to think about other things. 10 minutes into the film, the woman in front (who i can't help noticing was very short) turns round and says "excuse me, would you mind moving your legs, they're squished against my chair." this confuses me because a) did she think i hadn't noticed that my legs were rather squished? and b) where did she expect me to put them? so i ignored her, until 10 minutes later she turned round again, i ignored her again. the 3rd time i asked her where she expected me to put my legs, she replied "i don't care, anywhere else". so i did, i took off my shoes and placed my legs over the seat in front, over her left shoulder. i got a disgusted look, jordan, my father and i were in hysterics but i moved them after a dirty look from my mother. so i spent the rest of the film "sitting like i was doing an impression of a pretzel" (as jordan put it). but i had my revenge in the only way i saw fit. how would you get your revenge when sitting in a cinema with nothing but swine-flu and some popcorn?