DO NOT touch the Baby Jesus.

I love my mother, no, really i do.

But she is completely mental.

I probably don't help this though... i *might* do some things specifically to wind her up. Like turning the picture in the hallway upside down everytime i walk past it and writing rude words on the oven door and seeing how long it takes her to notice.

This time of year, it's extra brilliant. My partner in crime (my aunt) and i have several christmassy games we like to play.

Every Christmas day, my mother lays the table for 12 people, making sure that the crackers go - gold, silver, gold, silver, gold and so on. Every time she goes into the kitchen, somebody has to run into the dining room and switch a few of them around. The first 3 or 4 times she is confused, then she gets angry.

Another Christmas dinner game played by my aunt, my little cousin and i, is to get a word, or phrase into the conversation that perhaps should be there - without other people noticing.
Last year, i seem to remember it was "tramp's knob". and i won. it went a bit like this:

grandad: "Mmm, these little sausages are nice, what are they called?"

me: "tramp's knobs?"

grandad: "what?"

*old people look confused*

me: "oh, um... chipolatas?"

grandad: "oh yes, that's right"

*aunt and cousin sit with MOUTHS HANGING OPEN, in surprise and admiration*

BUT. The best thing at Christmas is my mother's absolute favourite thing ever. The Knitivity (yes. the KNITivity)

So often being shouted in my house:

"STEPHANIE, DID YOU KNOCK THE DONKEY OVER?"

or,

"STEPHANIE, WHY ARE THE WISE MEN DOING HANDSTANDS?!"

or (my favourite)

"STEPHANIE, WHERE IS THE BABY JESUS?!!"

ahahahahaha. hahaa. ha.

ha.

A Blogish Sort Of Hello.

Look! This is a blog.

I've neglected my blog recently, it's not that i haven't had lots of blog-ish things in my head i just haven't had time to write them and even when i have had time, i haven't wanted to write anything, as it would be purely miserableness and horrible for anyone to read.

So. I don't have much to say now. Nor do i have much time. I just wanted to say HELLO. Not my twitter sort of HELLO but a blog sort of HELLO.

I had a really nice weekend though. i would write about it... if i could be bothered. I can't. Instead, here are some pictures:

Emily and i... just sort of smiling (bear with me, they will get better)

Emily's 'E'. My 'S'. (because we are cool)

Possibly the strangest pose you will ever see...
(that's the sea in the background)

Not too sure what's happenig here...

The view from the beach hut (my uncle isn't a perminent feature)

Being told the truth in The Booth of Truth. It cost me 40p but now i know the truth... and i'm not allowed to tell you.

So that's all really...

Disney and Other Nonsense.

I've been singing this constantly for the last 3 days:

The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
Tiggers are cuddly fellas
Tiggers are awfully sweet
Ev'ryone el-us is jealous
That's why I repeat... and repeat

The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are marvelous chaps!
They're loaded with vim and vigor
They love to leap in your laps!
They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
I-I-I'm , the only O-n-n-eee!

See. Annoying isn't it.

I was looking for it on youtube, i was going to put it in a blog so you could all have it stuck in your heads and you could share my pain...

however.

I came accross this...



i'm sure it's at least 7x better in Swedish.

Which made me think, which other disney songs would be better in different languages?

These are my favourites: