DO NOT touch the Baby Jesus.

I love my mother, no, really i do.

But she is completely mental.

I probably don't help this though... i *might* do some things specifically to wind her up. Like turning the picture in the hallway upside down everytime i walk past it and writing rude words on the oven door and seeing how long it takes her to notice.

This time of year, it's extra brilliant. My partner in crime (my aunt) and i have several christmassy games we like to play.

Every Christmas day, my mother lays the table for 12 people, making sure that the crackers go - gold, silver, gold, silver, gold and so on. Every time she goes into the kitchen, somebody has to run into the dining room and switch a few of them around. The first 3 or 4 times she is confused, then she gets angry.

Another Christmas dinner game played by my aunt, my little cousin and i, is to get a word, or phrase into the conversation that perhaps should be there - without other people noticing.
Last year, i seem to remember it was "tramp's knob". and i won. it went a bit like this:

grandad: "Mmm, these little sausages are nice, what are they called?"

me: "tramp's knobs?"

grandad: "what?"

*old people look confused*

me: "oh, um... chipolatas?"

grandad: "oh yes, that's right"

*aunt and cousin sit with MOUTHS HANGING OPEN, in surprise and admiration*

BUT. The best thing at Christmas is my mother's absolute favourite thing ever. The Knitivity (yes. the KNITivity)

So often being shouted in my house:

"STEPHANIE, DID YOU KNOCK THE DONKEY OVER?"

or,

"STEPHANIE, WHY ARE THE WISE MEN DOING HANDSTANDS?!"

or (my favourite)

"STEPHANIE, WHERE IS THE BABY JESUS?!!"

ahahahahaha. hahaa. ha.

ha.

Blue Peter (part 1)

Sometimes i have a random stroke of genius. Yesterday, i had one... i have decided to share it with you because i think it is EXCELLENT!

Also, i may have mentioned this before but my main ambition in life is to become a Blue Peter presenter. have you got a problem with that?!

Ok. So, a simple and cheap and really pretty christmas present for somebody that you don't really like but have to buy a present for anyway.

1) Take an small, empty nutella jar. (Wash it so that there's no nutella left in it and take the lable off)

2) Use POWER PRITT - it's like pritt stick but better, and cover the glass in it (or do something more artistic like spots of stripes or something)

3) Next (this is the messy bit) pour lots and lots of glitter onto the table and roll the glue-y glass in it.

4) Take a tea-light candle and put it in the glass.

5) Wrap it up, give it to whoever you made it for.

6) RUN AWAY!

A Little Bit Christmassy,,,

My old school was a horrible horrible place full of rich chavs with massive houses and expensive clothes and ponies.

(You might have guessed - i didn't like it)

However, my favourite person in the world went to that school (and still does), but she might be the 1 exception.

Every year they have a Christmas Market full of over-priced mince pies, expensive jewellery stalls and the occasional second-hand book.

And every year i go. I like laughing at the people i spent 7 years of my childhood with getting fatter and oranger and stupider. (again, Bethan isn't included in this).

Yesterday I went with Bethan.

(i apologise for yet another blog full of pictures)

We were drawn in by sparkly things. Look at how sparkly they are!!

Next we decided to decorate gingerbread Christmas trees.

This was Bethan's

And this was mine...

(i am NOT going to mention the fact that Bethan's looks like festive vomit)

Finally, we bought tickets for the bottle tombola. Look what i won!

I don't really know what it is... i might give it to someone for Christmas.

So, after an afternoon of Christmasness, we were feeling very christmassy indeed.
We then skipped (yes - skipped) into Bromley. It was quite a long way, and it was cold and Bethan was wearing silly shoes, so when we arrived it took us a while to recover and make sure that our lungs weren't going to explode.

We then looked at the pretty Christmas lights. Ahhh - pretty!

Then spent the evening watching Love Actually and eating ice cream.

Happy :-)